{"id":699,"date":"2024-02-22T10:53:54","date_gmt":"2024-02-22T15:53:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.careculturecounselling.com\/home\/?p=699"},"modified":"2024-03-03T09:04:11","modified_gmt":"2024-03-03T14:04:11","slug":"what-the-heck-does-identity-affirming-mean","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.careculturecounselling.com\/home\/index.php\/2024\/02\/22\/what-the-heck-does-identity-affirming-mean\/","title":{"rendered":"What the heck does &#8220;identity affirming&#8221; mean?"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-full is-resized has-custom-border\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"2240\" height=\"1260\" src=\"https:\/\/www.careculturecounselling.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/What-the-heck-is-identity-affirming.png\" alt=\"What the heck does &quot;identity affirming&quot; mean? TLDR: Everything makes you you is kinda freaking important. \" class=\"wp-image-680\" style=\"border-radius:36px;width:718px;height:auto\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.careculturecounselling.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/What-the-heck-is-identity-affirming.png 2240w, https:\/\/www.careculturecounselling.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/What-the-heck-is-identity-affirming-300x169.png 300w, https:\/\/www.careculturecounselling.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/What-the-heck-is-identity-affirming-1024x576.png 1024w, https:\/\/www.careculturecounselling.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/What-the-heck-is-identity-affirming-768x432.png 768w, https:\/\/www.careculturecounselling.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/What-the-heck-is-identity-affirming-1536x864.png 1536w, https:\/\/www.careculturecounselling.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/What-the-heck-is-identity-affirming-2048x1152.png 2048w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 2240px) 100vw, 2240px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Allo folxs!\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you are reading this, WOW thanks! I\u2019m taking on this fun experiment in verbalizing my ever-flowing thoughts, with the hopes that someone may find it helpful! So, if you read it through, let me know and maybe I\u2019ll send you a gratitude postcard or something cool (did someone say stickers?)!\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As my first post, I&#8217;m aiming to explain how I understand \u201cidentity affirming\u201d within a counselling context but also in our overall lives. We often see these phrases or terms used in academic and professional settings that sound nice but can be too shy to ask what the heck it really means. So let me try and give a bit of a simple summary that can hopefully pique your curiosity. Let\u2019s start at the basics!<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Note for those who are familiar with the meaning of \u201cidentity affirming\u201d: Thank you for joining in anyways! Feel free to add any info you feel I\u2019m missing or comment to say hello!<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><b>What is \u201cidentity\u201d? <img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright wp-image-173\" src=\"https:\/\/www.careculturecounselling.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/image-1-300x200.jpeg\" alt=\"Shadow of a person with short hair standing in front of a sunset\" width=\"335\" height=\"223\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.careculturecounselling.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/image-1-300x200.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/www.careculturecounselling.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/image-1-768x512.jpeg 768w, https:\/\/www.careculturecounselling.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/image-1.jpeg 960w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 335px) 100vw, 335px\" \/><\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Simply put, identity is everything that makes you YOU! Your sense of self!\u00a0 It can be as simple as the way you say your name, the colour of your hair, or what you like to eat. It can also be parts of you that have a large social impact such as culture, religion, ability, spirituality, race, sexuality, gender, socioeconomic status, history, profession, family dynamic etc. Identity is all the glorious bits that make you an individual.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For some of us, there are terms that we use on a regular basis to describe our identity. For others, this may be a whole new world. There are TONS of ways to describe your identity, here are a few that folks may use:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Black, Indigenous, Person of Colour (BIPOC)<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The global majority<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Racialized<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Melanated\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Equity Deserving<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">2-Spirited, lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, queer, questioning, intersex, and more (2SLGBTQQI+)\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Disabled<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Able-Bodied<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Plus Size<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Neurodivergent\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Now each of these terms have in depth meanings with histories that have popularized their use. While we won\u2019t go into depth here as to each of their meanings, it is important to understand that it really is up to each individual person to choose the terminology that they feel the most comfortable with. You may even find that some folks who may seem to belong to the same identity group use different terminology to describe themselves.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Why does everyone have to make a big deal about their identity anyway?\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I often hear \u201c<\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I just see people as people, I don\u2019t care what your identity is<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.\u201d or the most endearing \u201c<\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Stop being a snowflake. You\u2019re just human like the rest of us.<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201d While that human part is true (mostly), the reality is that we are all kinda our own special snowflake. Very few people share the exact same identity traits as someone else. But why does it matter?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>A strong sense of identity that has been acknowledge and respected has links to better mental health. As shocking as it may sound, not every human is given the same acknowledgement and respect. When you are surrounded by a world that wasn&#8217;t made for people like you, it can lead to mistreatment, shame, guilt, and isolation.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Let me help paint a picture of what I mean. Does this describe your experiences:<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright wp-image-687\" src=\"https:\/\/www.careculturecounselling.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/image.jpeg\" alt=\"Puzzle pieces of different colours and shapes on a table\" width=\"336\" height=\"224\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.careculturecounselling.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/image.jpeg 1300w, https:\/\/www.careculturecounselling.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/image-300x200.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/www.careculturecounselling.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/image-1024x683.jpeg 1024w, https:\/\/www.careculturecounselling.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/image-768x512.jpeg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 336px) 100vw, 336px\" \/><\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Most of your teachers looked like you growing up.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Most of the shows you watched had characters like you, with relationships like the ones you were interested in.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Most of the mental and physical health care professionals you have met look like you.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Most of your bosses looked like and the people interviewing you too.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Most of the people you had to interact with growing up spoke your language.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You were able to get to and from school without any unique tools or supports.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you answered yes to most of those things, chances are that you rarely had to:\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Explain why your name, skin colour, hair texture, accent, food, or movements sounded, looked, smelled, or felt a certain way.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Explain why your tone was \u201caggressive\u201d, \u201cloud\u201d, \u201crude\u201d in passionate conversation.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Hide your family, partner, or love interests.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Explain why your family, celebrations, traditions, or beliefs were \u201cdifferent\u201d, \u201codd\u201d, \u201cfunny\u201d, or \u201cweird\u201d.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Beg for your basic needs to be met in order to be able to live like other people.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While lack of representation, explaining yourself, and hiding parts of yourself may seem like just a minor inconvenience, the constant feelings of shame, guilt, embarrassment, and fear can take a toll on a person\u2019s mental health. Unfortunately, the examples I shared are really only scratching the surface of the realities people who are \u201cdifferent\u201d have face in their daily lives. The things that have made them \u201cdifferent\u201d are often met with threats of physical harm, lack of safety, and opportunities. (There is a whole lot to say about injustice, but I am going to keep this as an intro post. I\u2019m hoping to go deeper into these topics as time goes on.)\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Being able to proudly display and share your identity can be an act of self-love, advocacy, solidarity, and resistance to the past and present harm that people who are \u201cdifferent\u201d face. It can also be a signal to others that you value and understand the way identities impact experiences.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Ok I get that, but why can&#8217;t I just treat everyone the same?<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I mean, you totally can\u2026. IF by the same you mean you are willing to treat everyone the way <\/span><b>they<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> want to be treated.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Some people want to be able to have their identities celebrated. Some people want you to acknowledge their identities, because it has shaped the way they experience and view life. Some people feel that their identity isn\u2019t something that they feel needs to be shared with anyone but themselves. All of that is ok.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Our role in creating identity affirming spaces is allowing people to decide how and if they chose to share their identity and respond in the ways that make them feel respected and safe. It means knowing that folks with diverse identities will be accessing your space, so doing the things that acknowledge their existence and foster belonging (more on that in another post).\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"background-color: var(--base-3);\"><b>So,<\/b><\/span><b>\u00a0what does counselling have to do with \u201cidentity affirmation\u201d?<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright wp-image-702\" src=\"https:\/\/www.careculturecounselling.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/image-1.webp\" alt=\"Hopeful rainbow in front of blue sky\" width=\"371\" height=\"261\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.careculturecounselling.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/image-1.webp 1024w, https:\/\/www.careculturecounselling.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/image-1-300x211.webp 300w, https:\/\/www.careculturecounselling.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/image-1-768x540.webp 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 371px) 100vw, 371px\" \/><\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Identity affirming counselling is support that promotes all intersectional parts of your identity in the ways in which you choose to share them. It <\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit; background-color: var(--base-3); color: var(--contrast);\">creates a space where you are allowed to be you, without feeling the need to fit into societies created visions of \u201cideal\u201d, \u201cnormal\u201d, or \u201cright\u201d. It contextualizes your story, as your identity can play a huge role in how you experience life.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Ways in which I aim to provide identity affirming counselling are:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You decide what you share and how you share it. I don\u2019t force you to identify or share anything about what makes you you, unless or until you feel ready to do so.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I don\u2019t make you spend all your session explaining what an acronym means or the historical significance of your identity. It is my responsibility to do the work and keep informed and aware of aspects of identity, their history, and the way society is impacting certain communities.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I recognize how your experiences are far more than just one offs by contextualizing how societal norms impact different communities.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While I make it my goal to stay informed, I won\u2019t loop you into a box of what this or that identity is. While some communities have their own shared experiences, you are YOU. Your experiences are unique, multi-faceted and deserve recognition and respect.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I don\u2019t make it ALL about your identity. If you want to come in and talk about something that has absolutely nothing to do with your identity, I will respect that. I will hold the space for whatever you need in your session.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I try my best to be informed, responsive, and empathetic. I may not always get it right, but golly do I try and create that safety!\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">My goal is to honour your humanity, in the way that makes you feel truly understood. I am here to make sure you know that you should do you, boo! No guilt. No shame. No judgment.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>I\u2019m honestly not sure why I am reading this blog. Is there anything you want me to do?\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Well thanks for sticking around! There are tons of things you can do, whether you are looking for identity affirming counselling or trying to create <\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit; background-color: var(--base-3); color: var(--contrast);\">a space that is identity affirming. Here are just a few:<\/span><\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\"><\/figcaption>\n<\/figure>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><!-- \/wp:post-content --><\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Learn!<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> The world is giant and has tons of beautiful experiences. Don\u2019t feel like you identify with any of the few identities I listed above? Well why not pick a few and learn about the terms, follow folks on social media with those identities, watch movies and shows that have characters with identities different than your own. Humbly bring your learnings into spaces where you have influence. And humbly prepare yourself to make mistakes. We all do.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"><i>Important note: <\/i>Please do not ask someone to explain their identity to you. It is not their job. You may hear someone share their pronouns, something about their race, their disability, anything about themselves that you don\u2019t understand. Your job is to recognize what they\u2019ve shared and respect them as a human. If you don\u2019t know what something means, use your curiosity to do some research. If by chance they open the conversation saying that they are open to share and answer questions, value and respect that opportunity. But don\u2019t expect it from everyone.\u00a0<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><a href=\"_wp_link_placeholder\" data-wplink-edit=\"true\"><b>Connect!<\/b><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> If you are looking for a counselling space where your identity is valued, let\u2019s connect. If you&#8217;re looking for learning opportunities on topics like this for your classroom, organization, business, or community, let&#8217;s connect. If you are someone who is wanting to learn but feels that doing it solo isn\u2019t for you, let\u2019s connect. If this really didn\u2019t make any sense and you truly care about understanding, let\u2019s connect. Have feedback for me, let&#8217;s connect.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Be your beautiful, extraordinary, unique self!<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Ok now that feels super fluffy, but what would a blog on a counselling site be without a little pizzaz! But really, if you are in a safe space where you can be yourself, DO IT! If you aren\u2019t (which many of us aren\u2019t), know that you are incredible. Keep yourself safe, find your people (even if that means only online), and find the micro ways where you can still honour yourself.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2><b>In Conclusion: I love you, you\u2019re\u00a0awesome.<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright wp-image-700\" src=\"https:\/\/www.careculturecounselling.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/image-5.jpeg\" alt=\"Hands forming a heart in front of a warm sunset. \" width=\"398\" height=\"265\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.careculturecounselling.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/image-5.jpeg 960w, https:\/\/www.careculturecounselling.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/image-5-300x200.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/www.careculturecounselling.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/image-5-768x512.jpeg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 398px) 100vw, 398px\" \/><\/b><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This was a tiny snippet on what identity affirming counselling means to me and how I hope to foster that in my work. Like you, I am also human (get out bots). So, I am always learning and growing. If you\u2019ve seen something that doesn\u2019t sit well, let me know. I am always willing to learn, grow, and connect.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">With care and connection,<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Olga<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">P.S. If you did end up reading all the way, congratulations! I wasn\u2019t lying about the postcard.\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<div class=\"wp-block-group alignfull has-background\" style=\"background-color: #374f59;\">\n<p><!-- \/wp:columns --><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><!-- \/wp:group --><\/p>\n\n<!-- wp:group {\"align\":\"full\",\"layout\":{\"type\":\"constrained\"}} -->\n<div class=\"wp-block-group alignfull\"><\/div>\n<!-- \/wp:group -->","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Allo folxs!\u00a0 If you are reading this, WOW thanks! I\u2019m taking on this fun experiment in verbalizing my ever-flowing thoughts, with the hopes that someone may find it helpful! So, if you read it through, let me know and maybe I\u2019ll send you a gratitude postcard or something cool (did someone say stickers?)!\u00a0 As my &#8230; <a title=\"What the heck does &#8220;identity affirming&#8221; mean?\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.careculturecounselling.com\/home\/index.php\/2024\/02\/22\/what-the-heck-does-identity-affirming-mean\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about What the heck does &#8220;identity affirming&#8221; mean?\">Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"link","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[10,12,11,16,14,15,9,7,8,19,18,17],"class_list":["post-699","post","type-post","status-publish","format-link","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-2slgbtqi-counselling","tag-accessible-counselling","tag-bipoc-counselling","tag-counselling-in-ontario","tag-disability-awareness","tag-how-to-find-a-counsellor","tag-identity-affirming-classrooms","tag-identity-affirming-counselling","tag-identity-affirming-spaces","tag-inclusive-counselling","tag-safe-counselling","tag-virtual-counselling-in-ontario","post_format-post-format-link"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.careculturecounselling.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/699","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.careculturecounselling.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.careculturecounselling.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.careculturecounselling.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.careculturecounselling.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=699"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/www.careculturecounselling.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/699\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":760,"href":"https:\/\/www.careculturecounselling.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/699\/revisions\/760"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.careculturecounselling.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=699"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.careculturecounselling.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=699"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.careculturecounselling.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=699"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}